Surviving Valentine’s Day as a Single.

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Cultivate self-love.

I’ve been wrestling with the concepts of self-love and self-acceptance for a while now. I’m extremely loving toward others, almost to a fault; but I struggle to give myself what I endeavour to give to others.

And as cliché as it may sound, without self-love and self-acceptance, we’re bound to struggle to attract and maintain a healthy romantic relationship.

Not because we’d come across as lacking in confidence and self-respect — and there’s nothing more attractive in the eyes of the other than these two qualities.

Whatever your reason might be, I think Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to evaluate whether the love you give yourself is the love that you would accept from a significant other. Or the love that you would wish for your best friend.

Take an honest look on how you treat yourself and if the answer is ‘no’, there’s some work to be done, my Dear.

As contrived as this may seem, single or not, be your own Valentine this year and show yourself that you deserve the love that you so deeply desire.

Show love to others.

Valentine’s Day can also make you feel like the loneliest person in the whole wide world, even if you’re surrounded by loving and caring friends and family.

I’d argue that it’s impossible to maintain a healthy romantic relationship without friends, family, acquaintances, and even work colleagues who’d share our joy and support us through our sorrows on a day-to-day basis.

Often, it’s our friends and family who will hold us when something goes wrong between us and our partners.

When we’re in love with someone, it often seems that our world revolves around that person, but it’s actually ourselves and all others that we care about that ultimately hold our world together. Our significant other can eventually become a part of that foundation, but certainly not its epicentre.

So this year make an effort to spread the love among those you love in a non-romantic way as well.

Take a step back.

Now, the aforementioned tips will probably resonate with those who are somehow sceptical about the whole Valentine’s Day extravaganza, but who secretly wish they were in a happy romantic relationship with someone they could celebrate the day with — even if on the sofa watching their favourite TV show.

Tomorrow is another day. And who knows, maybe it will be the day when you finally meet the person whose lack is depriving you of the joy of today. If that’s the case, you will be much better equipped to invite them into your life, if you devote today to appreciating yourself and all those you’re lucky to have in your life already.

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Agnieszka Zbieranska

Agnieszka Zbieranska

Business Psychologist, Life Coach & NLP Practitioner, 200hr Yoga Teacher. A firm believer that we can all be better than ‘ok’, in every area of our lives.